Accountability & The Four Agreements

Posted by Darrell Milam on

Accountability & The Four Agreements

What's up, Stonedvet Army?

This week the topic that keeps coming up around me is accountability, so I thought that I'd write something to share with you about accountability.

First things first, let's get the painful part out of the way. Here's the deal...

No one is coming

  • No one is coming to save you
  • No one is coming to remind you to turn off the TV
  • No one is coming to push you to exercise
  • No one is coming to tell you that you need to apply for that job
  • No one is coming to challenge you to write that business plan
  • No one is coming 

It's up to YOU! 

Get up, get out, and get it!

Now, let's get to The Good Stuff

Miguel Ruiz writes in his book "The Four Agreements" about four simple things that would change your life dramatically if implemented into your life today.

These four very powerful agreements will help you break the patterns from fear that deplete your energy.


The first agreement: Be impeccable with your word.

Being impeccable with your word is the first and most challenging agreement to honor in your life. 

Words can create a beautiful dream, or they can destroy everything around you.

Your word is so powerful that one word can change a life or destroy the lives of millions of people.

Remember back when one man in Germany manipulated an entire country, leading them into a World War. 

Just using words, he convinced others to commit atrocious acts of violence.

He activated people's fear with words.

Imagine a person with a child they love very much...

Imagine they come home from work overstressed, exhausted, and with a migraine...

When they get home, they want to relax, unwind and have some peace and quiet...

However, their child is joyfully playing and singing, but being very loud about it.

The child, unaware of their parents' headache, kept getting louder, expressing happiness and joy.

Not having any of it, the overwhelmed, exhausted parent with migraine without thought lashes out, "Will you shut up already? I can't stand to hear your voice! Just shut up!"

The child believed what the parent said...

After that, the child never sang again, believing that their voice bothered anyone who heard it.

Everything changed. They became shy at school; even speaking to others became difficult because of this new agreement.

How many times do we do this?

We give people these opinions that they carry for years, sometimes life.


The second agreement: Don't take anything personally.

If someone offers you poison, don't take it!

If you do not take it, it is not yours!

Nothing other people do is because of you. 

The things others say are a reflection of their inner world.

Like in the previous agreement, the child took the poison.

Because the child accepted the poison from the person closest to them, the child never sang again, and everything changed. 

Remember, it is only through our senses that we perceive our reality. 

This means our realities are dreamt up. 

You cannot know the reality...

You only know what your brain understands from the signals your nerve endings are sending.

You're running a program that knows what your brain reads from the signals your nose sends.

Your brain translates the vibrations that your ear receives before it lets you know what you hear.

Your taste buds send electrical signals to your brain that then decide whether the food you eat is bad or good.

Your brain, much like a camera, allows light through the eyes and then determines what it is you're going to see in your reality.

I know that I heard all the time in the Military, "Perception is reality."

If you know that your brain needs all these signals to let you know what the hell reality is... Who's to say that someone else's interpretation is suitable when they have to decipher the same signals.


The third agreement: Don't make assumptions.

At some point, or too many, we've heard to assume is to make an ASS of yoU and ME.

But what you've probably never heard is:

Assumptions -> Misunderstanding -> Drama -> Sadness

When you assume you know what another means, you're asking for problems.

Often we make the mistake of assuming that others know what we want, especially in relationships. Often we think others will do what we want because they know us so well... When they don't, people get hurt and say, "you should have known."

Not saying that the child had the mental capacity to ask for clarification, but had she asked, the parent would have said that it's not the child's voice that was the problem, but rather the migraine.

 It is easy to assume that others know what we think in any relationship, and we don't have to say what we want. They will do what we want because they know us so well... when that doesn't happen, we make so much drama because we make assumptions and put more assumptions on top of them.

There are many things the mind cannot explain. 

It is not essential if the answer is correct or wrong; just an answer makes us feel safe; this is why we naturally make assumptions. 

If others tell us something, we make assumptions.

If they don't tell us something, we still make assumptions...
only now we're making them to fulfill our need to know, and replace the need to communicate.

If we hear something we don't understand, we make assumptions about what it means and believe the assumptions.

The simplest way to avoid assumptions is to ask for clarification.


The fourth agreement: Always do your best.

You best will change one day to another. Your best will also change over time, becoming better. 

Do no more or no less than your best.

If you try too hard, you will be overwhelmed, and your best will not be enough. You will deplete your body and go against yourself, taking you longer to get to your objective.

If you do less than your best, you will be frustrated, leading to self-judgment, guilt, and regret.

Just do your best all the time even when you're sick, or tired.

by always doing your best, you cannot suffer from guilt, blame, or self-punishment.

Doing your best will cause you to be more productive.

Most people only do their best when they expect to be rewarded.


Most people go to work just thinking of payday. They can hardly wait for the payday, and they're working for the reward.

As a result, they resist work. They avoid the action and do not perform at their best.
They believe they have to work to pay the rent, or they have to support their family.

No regrets - I did my best!

You are doing your best means learning from your mistakes.

Do your best because you want to do it...

Not because you have to...

No action -> No result -> No rewards


Imagine waking up each day living life with these four agreements adding to your success...

When your motivations come from inside of you...

You become supernatural...


Enjoy the dream that is happening right now!

Did you learn anything from this content? Let us know below!

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