What's up, Stonedvet Army?
This week I'm talking about three tips that you can use to strengthen personal connections.
Because, no matter how hard you work or how much of a hustler you are, there's only so much skill, time, and talent that one individual has.
Here's the deal, if you want to create anything significant, you need to connect with others. The ability to connect with another human being on a human level is getting to an all-time low. Not because we're not communicating, but because we're not doing it on a personal level anymore. (Meaning you might get punched in the face if you're being a dick.)
You know what I'm saying, right?
So I would like to share some tips to supercharge your people skills and strengthen personal connections that will make you better in all your communications with anther humans in your life.
That matters because it will help you sell yourself better, and it will help you make more connections and help you get more things done.
One of my mentors, Grant Cardone, says, "Even Jesus had 12 disciples."
The facts are, you can get a lot more done through other people than you can ever get done by yourself. No matter how talented, no matter how hard you work, how much of a hustler you are, no matter how much you rise and grind. There's only so much skill, time, and talent that one individual has.
I'm sure you know already, but increasing your people skills will make you better in all human interactions and allow you to get more done!
So let's jump into the 3 Tips to Strengthen Personal Connections.
- Tune off W.I.I.F.M. radio
- No Unsolicited Advice
- Remain a student
Sounds simple right?
Turn Off W.I.I.F.M. Radio
W.I.I.F.M. stands for 'What's In It For Me,' and this mindset will quickly throw a wrench into your ability to strengthen personal connections. Most everyone walks around interacting with the world with the mentality that they are the center of their universe.
Are you with me?
The buzzword currently being tossed around like a... is NARCISSIST.
However, if you asked someone if they consider themselves a narcissist?
The immediate answer would be, "NO! Of course not!"
Then, if you were to contrast this question by following up with a question such as, "Do you know any narcissistic people?"
The answer would most likely be a resounding "YES!"
You might even get a list of names, right?
What does this mean?
How can this be statistically possible that no one considers themselves a narcissist, yet everyone knows a narcissist?
Why is it that when people communicate, it's all about them?
Have you ever noticed yourself, or anyone else, shifting a conversation to the topic that's important to them, fitting yourself into the conversation?
If you want to connect with other people, the first thing you need to do is stop thinking about you and start thinking about them, uncover what they can get from an engagement with you. Even if you get something, which there's nothing wrong with you getting something, but you need to open with, "here's what you can get out of this interaction."
Does that make sense?
No Unsolicited Advice.
When you want to strengthen personal connections, giving unsolicited advice, even if you think they need the advice (Most of the time, they do), know that it is counter-intuitive to strengthen personal connections because 98% of people don't want it.
You know what I'm talking about, right?
Repeatedly giving unsolicited advice can contribute to relationship problems. Often unsolicited advice is received as disrespectful and presumptive. Unsolicited advice assumes the person giving advice knows what's correct or best for another individual.
Unsolicited advice often feels critical instead of helpful. If it becomes repetitive, it can quickly turn into nagging. Unsolicited advice can also damage people's ability to figure out what's right for them and solve their problems.
Can you see where this is going?
When you solve people's problems for them eventually, they get to a point where they are capable but not confident, making them fearful of making mistakes.
Have you ever been around someone who makes an attempt at solving problems but will still come to you for reassurance?
Don't blame them when anything goes wrong. Because when you've offered unsolicited advice all the time, they are likely to take on all your advice if you give it.
Giving unsolicited advice can even become a frustrating experience for you as the advice-giver. Think about it, when your suggestions aren't taken or appreciated, you often feel upset, hurt, or resentful.
Most of the time, it's best to refrain from giving advice that hasn't been asked for. Often people just want to vent, get it off their chest, and don't want your input.
Remain A Student.
You know the thing that I said not to give to other people just a few sentences ago...
Because you're reading this, I'm assuming that you're the type of person who does want someone to give you feedback.
You do want someone to tell you if you're messing up.
You would like someone to let you know you got food stuck in your teeth.
Are you with me?
While we all want to feel confident in our ability to give, it's important to remember we also need to keep the humility of a student when it's time to receive.
Another great way to strengthen personal connections is to keep yourself open for improvement; accepting criticism, critique, or advice without becoming upset is a great way to strengthen personal connections.
If you can remember, every person is a student of life. And that there are many things to know and learn, and there is no age limit for knowledge.
Feel proud of who you're and what you are. No one knows everything. Keep learning; we all are pupils in this universe.
To quickly sum up, if you get out of your head and learn to focus on other people. Watch the bad habit of unsolicited advice even if you know the other people need the advice. (Most of the time, they do!) And, remember to remain a student in life. You will quickly find that it is easy to strengthen personal connections maybe even enjoyable, and your people skills will go up immediately.